Was this residential dwelling in Potomac, MD designed by a team that was not get along very well? Were there disagreements about roof line? Did the contractor mix up the blueprints? Land of Excess is baffled. All yours for $1,675,000 with garaging for 4, 6 full and 1 partial bath, and 5 bedrooms.
Today Land of Excess keeps our promise and reveals to you the Hubristic Period admonition we mentioned in our last post! This admonition was featured on a poster on the wall opposite the crypt-like thingy we had been writing about, and was visible in the round mirror on that crypt-like thingy. We understand that “DO NOT SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY”, does not sound like bad advice. However, we are thrilled to see it proudly displayed in such a foolish disaster of a room, the decor of which seems so isolating and also incoherent. Anyway, the presence of this poster confirms our prejudices about McMansions and their occupants. Our founder has to admit that, given our upbringing, we understood we were to suffer fools politely, and that also we were to understand that on occasion we might be one of those fools ourselves. Today we look up this admonition and find David Brooks of the NYT saying this, in a column from January 3, 2013:
“The phrase originally came from William Tyndale’s 1534 translation of the Bible. In it, Paul was ripping into the decadent citizens of Corinth for turning away from his own authoritative teaching and falling for a bunch of second-rate false apostles. “For ye suffers fool gladly,” Paul says with withering sarcasm, “seeing ye yourselves are wise.”
Well this post has really gone off the rails today and we think we should just stop here. Anyway, $2,375,000 in Great Falls, VA with garaging for 4, 7 full and 1 partial bath, and 6 bedrooms, and so much more.
After our two previous posts featuring one building, Land of Excess feels ready to move along to a fresh Hubristic Period residential dwelling. This one is also in Great Falls, VA. Here is a small section of the lower level. At right, part of the video viewing area, and a left is the “wtf”. We don’t know what else to call this little vignette, and “wtf” seems appropriate. Although suggestions are welcome. We see the imitation modernist chaise-lounge centered on the circular rug. We see an elaborately carved multi-paneled wood wall surrounding a terrifying crypt-like thingy that may be a gas fireplace with fake logs, which is itself surrounded by a steel (?) and vaguely nautical-motif-y thingy with a circular mirror at top. We happen to know it is a mirror because we know that reflected in it is a wonderful Hubristic Period admonition spelled out on a poster on the opposite wall, which we will feature in a future post. But what a deal at $2,375,000!!!!! Garaging for 4, 7 full and 1 partial baths, and 6 bedrooms.
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Land of Excess can’t resist presenting this interior shot from the “Gated Private Paradise” that we discussed yesterday. Who can help us parse this interior decor? Getting right down to details, will someone please help us understand the thought processes behind those little white parentheses-type things glued to the walls on either sides of the double-debutante stairway? Are they actually dolphin shapes or are we over-interpreting with an over-indulgence of good will? And are those puti up there on the ceiling, lost in that hash of fingerpainting? What would The Donald say? Something not too bright, we are guessing. Great Falls, VA, $5,999,000, etc. etc.
Here is your dream home, Trump-ettes! Your own “Gated Private Paradise”, perfect for a fundraising fete for your favorite third-party candidate! A security team’s dream, this five acre parcel in Great Falls, VA is fully fenced with iron gates– gates sure to please the Trumpster with their gold tips and fancy filigree! Anyway, no trouble here keeping out those delusional common folk!!
And by the way, what is wrong with these real estate people, asks Land of Excess? Why didn’t they turn the multitiered fountain on full blast for the photographer?
All yours for $5,999,000 with over 17,000 finished square feet including garaging for 8, 7 full and 1 partial bath, and 6 bedrooms.
This place looks like an angry cartoon character. Land of Excess thinks that it is a ittle bit scary. We suppose the residents never go outside and thus don’t have to look at the exterior. 7 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 partial baths, and 4 car garage. All yours for $3,695,000 in Potomac, MD.
Dear loyal reader- here is another example of schizophrenia-inducing design. This is the rear view of a brand new residential building in Great Falls, VA. Land of Excess is trying to understand how this brick monstrosity with its blown-up-like-a-balloon proportions and the more subdued classic clapboard structure at right came to be built simultaneously. The clapboard thing is not the garage (which is a prominent wing at the front of this place). Maybe it is the poolhouse; we want to go hide in the poolhouse and make an emergency phone call to Habitat for Humanity to come dismantle the brick thing for parts and materials. All yours for $4,449,000 with 6 bedrooms, 6 full and 3 half baths, and garaging for 4.
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Land of Excess realizes that the life of children in the suburbs and exurbs now happens primarily indoors. And we suppose the life of the adults does too. So then what could be more perfect than, on your very own four acres, to have an indoor putting green? 13,000 square feet of finished interior floorspace is all yours for $2,495,000 with 7 full and 2 partial baths, 6 bedrooms, and garaging for 4, in Oakton, VA.
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Land of Excess is all annoyed about this residential building. The front and the back are unrelated to each other except in materials and a few of the fake-mullioned window designs. Do the homeowners avoid going out back on the lawn so that they won’t suffer from schizophrenia? We think it is appropriate that these two photos that seem to be of two different buildings feature the exact same clouds. “Great Falls’ finest offering!” is all yours for $2,875,000 with 5 full and 2 partial baths, 6 bedrooms, and garaging for 4.
The pictures featured in online real estate listings provide insights about how various segments of our society think that they want to present themselves. In these photos, we also get to see what kinds of remnants of our culture they possess, how these remnants are displayed or integrated into the rooms, and how they are used or not used. These photos often provoke considerable distress in Land of Excess’s founder, such as the several photos of this room that are labelled “Unique Expansive Library”. How odd then that here is only one book visible, and it is on a pedestal/book stand and grouped with other objects in a display that functions as decor. $2,700,000 in “A Prestigious Neighborhood” of McLean, VA with 6 bedrooms, 6 full and 2 partial baths, and garaging for 3.
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